Theme: Uda Uda Special (clip show / pajama party)

Another fun G no Arashi!! This time, the games they played were all planned by Aiba. It seems weird for them to be in that locker room studio instead of the old one with the big windows, where they could see people in the other building over, and they'd like...communicate by dancing and whatnot.

First, they played "Aiba Sugoroku" (my dictionary says it's "a child's dice game" which really doesn't help, since by watching you can tell at least that), which is a board game thing that Aiba made. The "GOOL" ("goal" for those unaccustomed to Aiba-ese) is to reach the last square, where you with "otoshi-shi-dama" (new year's money; it's supposed to be written "otoshi-dama"). Some of the squares were good (10,000Y sushi from some place), and some were mad (play air guitar on a street corner). One was "Eat the socks of the AD who hasn't bathed in a week!", to which Nino said "I can't eat NORMAL socks.."

First Round (order chosen by janken)
Aiba -- BATSU GAME: pass out tissues on a street corner
Sho -- REWARD: 10,000Y sushi
Ohno -- REWARD: some kind of special Japanese sweets
Nino -- REWARD: 5000Y sukiyaki
Jun -- REWARD: same sweets that Ohno got

CLIP TIME. From A no Arashi, they showed the corn syrup stuff again, and an unaired segment. You know how if you write on a piece of paper with lemon juice, you can't see anything, but when you hold it up to light, the lemon juice parts turn dark and you can read it? Well, Aiba wanted to try doing it with toast. It worked!!

Then they put various things (including shoes, a plate, and weights) on bean sprout seeds to see if the sprouts would raise up the things. They "forgot" to film the progress, so it just looked like shoes on top of a big plastic container of bean sprouts...

Second Round
Aiba -- BATSU GAME: have his face written on
Sho -- REWARD: 5000Y ozouni (New Year's stew stuff)
Ohno -- BATSU GAME: wear a stocking on his head (he had to wear it till the ending!)
Nino -- BATSU GAME: play air guitar on a public street
Jun -- BATSU GAME: play air guitar on a public street

Third Round
Aiba -- BATSU GAME: he had to read "Tokyo Daigaku Monogatari" out loud (I don't know what that is, but it sounded dirty >_>)
Sho -- BATSU GAME: eat AD's socks. since he couldn't actually EAT them, he just smelled them, but he said they really weren't that bad so Jun suggested he smell the guy's shoe, which was apparently NASTY.
Ohno -- BATSU GAME: AD's socks again. they just went straight to the shoe this time
Nino -- BATSU GAME: wear a stocking (they tied the ends of his and Ohno's stockings together)
Jun -- he won the "otoshi-shi-dama"! which was all-you-can-eat crab at a fancy restaurant in Ginza.

[ Sorry, I skipped this part.. speed ball wasn't amusing the first time, and air guitar isn't funny unless you're actually watching it ]

Next, they played "Aiba cards." They spread them all out face-up on the table, then Aiba read off a phrase and the other members had to look for the card that the phrase referred to. For example, "egao wa Arashi no.1 no Aiba-chan" (Aiba-chan whose smile is #1 in Arashi) was a drawing of Aiba smiling, with little sparkles by him, and the other members tiny and in the distance. I liked the "whenever I look at them, Matsujun's eyebrows are thick" one best. Jun made him reread it, but Aiba kinda mumbled and trailed off, scared of Jun's reaction XD Nino won that game, so he got all-you-can-eat shabu shabu at a fancy restaurant in Ginza.

At the end, they completed their final batsu games. In their pajamas, of course. Nino and Jun air guitaring was half lame, half cool. A few girls even stopped and clapped for them. No one would take Aiba's tissues, probably cause he was in pajamas AND had ink all over his face.

As most of you probably know, D no Arashi was renewed a few months ago, and now it's G no Arashi. I totally forgot what the "G" stands for, but it's probably something like "GANBARE" cause the theme of the show is that they go "root for" someone. At the start of each episode, each member presents their "person they want to root for" and then one of them is chosen, and two members go and "root for" them.

Honestly.. I hate it. I've watched every episode since it started, and even if it's amusing, it's never enough to make me want to keep the episode (it doesn't help that I have limited hard drive space, and I get really cheap about burning CDs even though CD-Rs are cheap).

UNTIL NOW.

This episode was the first one I actually liked enough to keep, and (go figure) it's a revival of the old A no Arashi from D no Arashi (..there are SO many ~ no Arashis out there..). So, here it is!!

At the start of the episode, the other guys were wearing their school uniforms (..IT MAKES SENSE IN JAPAN), except for Aiba, who was in his lab coat, with magnifying glass. Sho was trying to continue the (fake) conversation, till Aiba said "he [Sho] and I went on location the other day" which totally ruined the whole talk. (They always talk like they haven't gone on location yet, but really they're doing the studio stuff after the location bit)

Experiment #1: How far can you see with a telescopic lens?
Professor Aiba and his assistant Sho were on a tall building, using a regular camera and a SUPER LENS to zoom in on far-away (about 500m first, then 1km, then 2km) GnA staff members. The SUPER LENS cost 14 million yen (about $140,000; which is a lot but not as much as I was expecting). A regular camera lens can zoom in 20x (if I understood correctly), while the SUPER LENS can zoom 87x. Hence, it's called the "87x SUPER LENS." It zoomed in really well! (..as would be expected from a super zoom lens..) The last thing they did was put Sho in Tokyo Tower and tried to zoom in, but the weather was kinda bad and you could just barely see his shape.
Results: About 2km is too far to recognize someone

Experiment #2: Can you use a ID photo boot (not purikura style) to take a group photo?
Sho sat in the booth holding up a mirror, while Aiba and a group of people stood across from the booth. When it was printed, it actually kinda worked! The problem was that you could see Sho's hand in it, and there was a weird border (of the machine, I guess)
Results: You can do it if you're nearby and you use a mirror (...duh)

Experiment #3: If you pinch your nose while eating wasabi, will it still burn?
In the studio, the members played Russian roulette with SUPER WASABI sushi which of course Aiba ended up getting. Aiba said that it was fine with his nose pinched, so Sho pulled his arm away and he acted like it was hurting. He convinced Sho to try it too, saying that if you pinch your nose it totally doesn't burn at all..till Sho put the sushi in his mouth, and Aiba said "...just kidding." Nino brought up that Ohno's always fine with eating anything, with his nose pinched or not, but Ohno said "but I don't like wasabi!!" ..but they made him eat some anyway XD
Results: ikurakamashi? (...wha?)

Experiment #4: If you break a balloon in corn syrup (*) what happens?
(*) I don't know if it's really corn syrup, but that's the closest thing I can think of.
First, they weighted down a balloon and lowered it into the syrup. They all sat around it talking about how pretty it was. Jun: "What if you just broadcast this, from various angles?" Finally, Aiba stabbed it with a needle and it burst. For a second it kept the balloon shape, then the air bubble moved up and created a large bubble on the surface, which popped.
Next he put water balloons in it, by sticking his hand into the syrup. His hand covered in the syrup looked so funny! The balloon had tea in it, so it was visible. It slooooowly rose to the surface, and Aiba tried drinking it, which totally amazed him for some reason, then he made Sho drink it but he didn't really react. Aiba: "See, THAT'S why you're the assistant!" and Sho looked sad.
The last corn syrup experiment was: if you shook a carbonated drink and opened it in the syrup, what would happen? As the drink was rising, Aiba left his arms in the syrup and his face was kinda close. "Uwah, what should I do?? ... ahh..it's pretty.."
Results: My thinking was soft (in Japanese when you say that, you use the word for "sweet", not "soft"... get it? because it's corn syrup? it's sweet? ... haha)

Experiment #5: If a monk sits in seiza for a long time and then tries to run, can he run fast?
First they tested the monk's and Aiba's regular running times, then had them sit in seiza for 20 minutes. Afterwards, the monk stumbled a bit when getting up but he ran pretty much the same time as before. But Aiba..couldn't really stand at all. While Aiba was trying to get up, Sho was yelling at him like it was some emotional scene in a drama. "Stand up!! Masaki!! Stand up!"

Experiment #6: If you dissolve a tin of candy drops, what flavor will it be?
First they looked at how many flavors there were in the first place: strawberry, lemon, orange, pineapple, apple, melon, plum, and mint. The color was yellow-ish like apple juice, but slightly thicker than water (kind of like alcohol). Aiba (? I think) said that it looks like pee when you're tired ....... thanks for that image, Aiba. He described the smell as "when you were a kid, the cold medicine you got, the orange flavor.." and then just stopped mid-sentence and tasted it. Aiba thought it was gross, but Ohno said it was good. Aiba then had the great idea to put one of each flavor candy in his mouth, and drink some of the melted candy. "It tastes the same!!" Nino: *SMACK*
Results:
Aiba: (whispering) "If you dissolve all of the flavors, you get...Hawaii flavor"
Ohno: (eating candy) "OH! Hawaii flavor!"
Nino: *SMACK*

Producer: Kamenashi Kazuya
Theme: Kataomoi (Unrequited Love)

Kataomoi Medley
-zutto dakishimetai (Akanishi)
-ABC (Toushin, Goseki, Tsukada, Kawai, Totsuka)
-Misty (Nakamaru)
-Julia (Kamenashi, ABC, Kis-My-Ft2)

Kame, Hikaru, and Inoo had a short MC where Hikaru read a letter from a girl who wasn't able to confess to the guy she liked, but after hearing a KAT-TUN song she liked, she confessed and he said that he had been interested too. While reading it, Hikaru's voice got all squeaky and he was grinning and giggling X3

Ya-Ya-yah/J.J.Express Medley
-START (Yabu, Yaotome, Ayukawa, Yamashita Shoon)
-BANG! BANG! Vacance (Nakajima, Inoo, Arioka, Morimoto, Asaka, Hashimoto, Takaki, Kamei)
-UTAO-UTAO (Yabu, Yaotome)
-jibun no tame ni (Yodogawa, Noda, Yonemura, Fujiie, Ishigaki, Yamashita, Ayukawa)
-TEPPEN (Yabu, Yaotome, Yamashita, Ayukawa)

Who is Mr. X!!
Host: Kame (of course)
Detectives: Koki, Nakamaru, Ueda, Kawai
Clues:
(1) A close-up of Mr. X's ear.
(2) Koki asked him what he wanted to eat right now, and he said "mozukusu."
(3) Nakamaru asked where he's from. Kanagawa prefecture.
(4) Someone who knows him well came to talk about him: it was Jin. Apparently he's known Mr. X for a long time. Jin said that Mr. X came to him and asked if they could be friends
(5) Jin said that Mr. X likes to dance, but he's not good at it.
(6) Apparently, Mr. X is Jin's junior in Johnny's.
Only Koki got it wrong! When Mr. X came out, Jin ran off the stage in fear of his wrath LOL. Then Mr. X went backstage and Kame narrated their "fight"..till they came out, having switched jackets with each other. Then they all watched an oooold video where Kame and Jin took a trip to Okinawa together.

The guest for this episode was Imai Tsubasa, so Kame talked to him a bit about unrequited love. Tsubasa was in love with his teacher! They also talked about Tsubasa's solo concert, that was going on at the time of recording.

-Slave of love ~jounetsu no ondo~ (Imai)
-Get Down (Imai)

Jimmy went and talked to V6's Ken and Nagano about the theme. Ken's the type to confess soon, because he's afraid of the girl being taken away by another guy. Nagano, on the other hand, can't confess cause he gets too nervous. He liked a girl for three years without saying anything. Jimmy's like Nagano. After the talk, Jimmy had them open a ball-of-streamers-thingy that congratulated them on their 10th year anniversary. There was a VTR showing old V6 clips, back when Okada had that HORRIBLE bowl-like hair. (Am I the only one who thinks that Maa-kun and Nagano look better NOW?) They talked more, and then Jimmy congratulated Nagano on his 33rd birthday, which was that day! (Though certainly they filmed it before then)

KAT-TUN talked about love, and Koki looked all grumpy till Jin poked him in the cheek and he grinned like a freak X3 ..then went back to grumpy^^;

-seiten no hekireki (Kamenashi, Akanishi, Taguchi, Tanaka, Ueda, Nakamaru)

Jimmy and Ryota talked about the theme. Ryota was being bratty and not wanting to talk about his own experiences.

-kanjitemiro (Yonemura, Ishigaki, Fujiie, Noda, Yodogawa)

Kame read something he wrote about unrequited love.

-natsu no owari (Kamenashi, Akanishi, Taguchi, Tanaka, Ueda, Nakamaru)

-Wonderful World (Everyone)

(Note: I don't have this episode anymore!)

This was the first time NEWS was introduced to Shounen Club.

-NEWS Nippon (Yamashita Tomohisa, Koyama, Nishikido, Uchi, Masuda, Tegoshi, Moriuchi, Katou, Matsumoto Kouhei, Yabu)
-All of me for you (Nishikido, Uchi)
-LOVE SONG (Yamashita Tomohisa)
-Private Hearts (Koyama, Katou, Kusano)
-arigatou, ima (Moriuchi, Tegoshi, Masuda)
-NEWS member introduction dances
-NEWS Nippon (Yamashita Tomohisa, Koyama, Nishikido, Uchi, Masuda, Tegoshi, Moriuchi, Katou, Matsumoto Kouhei, Yabu)

The camera went to NEWS' dressing room, where Koyama, Ryo, Moriuchi, Kusano, Uchi, and Shige were sitting around. Follows is a rough transcript.
Koyama: Hi, everyone! Come in!
Everyone: Uwah~!
Koyama: Uh, the leader? Where's the leader?
Uchi: *raises hand decisively*
(Koyama walks over to a random curtain, and pulls it back to reveal Yamapi giving Tegoshi a shoulder massage.)
(They all gather in the middle of the room.)
Yamashita: We're missing one person! Where is he?! *hits locker* Where did he go?! *hits more* Masuda!!
(Masuda comes out of a locker)
(the regroup into the center of the room. Koyama and Yamapi introduce the segment: they're going to declare what type of characters they are, so the fans can better understand their personalities.)
Koyama: Since there's 9 of us, we need someone to bring us together, so I'm hoping to become that character. *pose*
Yamashita: I'll be the...uh.. character near the toilet. I'm always going to the bathroom. I'm called the Toilet Ogre!
Uchi: I'll look over everyone with THIS face! *makes gentle face* With this gentle face, I'll look over everyone!
Ryo: I'll just be the hated one, won't I?
Koyama(?): I love you!
Tegoshi: Since I like to sing, I'll be the one always singing backstage!
Massu: I'm the pickles in a boxed lunch!
Shige: I'll be the clumsy character!
Kusano: I want to give everyone advice!
Moriuchi: I'm always told to "be dignified" so I'll be the "dignified" character!
(everyone starts wrapping everything up)
Kusano: Nishikido-kun, uh, recently you said some mean things to Ueda-kun from KAT-TUN, so for us do you think you could give us some sweet words?
Yamashita: But, he's the hated character!
(corner ends)

Children's Song Medley
-mori no kuma-san (Ikuta, Hasegawa, Kazama)
(When they introduced the medley, Touma said that they were "songs that anybody/everybody knows"..but he messed up the lyrics on the first one! LOL)
-donguri koro koro (Ikuta)
-te no hira wo taiyou ni (Ikuta, Hasegawa)
-shabon-dama (Kazama)
-omocha no cha cha cha (Ikuta, Hasegawa, Kazama)

Jukebox Medley
-yuuki 100% (Yabu, Ayukawa, Akama, Yamashita Shoon, Hoshino)
-WA ni natte odorou (Koyama, Katou, Masuda)
-sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana (Yabu)
-sekai ga hitotsu ni naru made (Inoo, Matsumoto Kouhei, Yabu, Yamashita Shoon, Ayukawa)
-kimi dake ni (Kawai, Totsuka, Goseki, Tsukada, Toushin)
-Darling (Koyama, Kusano, Katou)
-kokoro ni yume wo kimi ni wa ai wo (Koyama, Kusano, Katou, Yokoo, Iida)
-Shingo Mama no Oha Rock (Inoo, Matsumoto Kouhei, two kids I don't know *cough*)
-A-RA-SHI (Katou, Kusano, Koyama)
-yuuki 100% (Inoo, Matsumoto Kouhei, those two kids, Koyama dancing like a retard, Yabu, Yamashita Shoon, Ayukawa, Hoshino, Akama, Kusano, Katou)

In the next corner, they read letters from fans to specific people. The first was to Kame, and asked about why he was running onstage (it shows a clip). He was just goofing off. Next, a girl wondered why Hasejun doesn't look at the camera much, and asked him to blow a kiss. Apparently they get a lot of requests for kisses to be blown at the camera, so they all did it one by one. Except Kusano, who had his face up near Tegoshi's, Masuda, who didn't exactly blow the kiss, Kazapon and Jin who blew each other's kisses (that sounds dirtier than it is), Nakamaru who rubbed his mouth and blew that, and Ueda FLUNG his.

-Kamen Butoukai (Toushin, Kawai, Tsukada, Totsuka, Goseki)
-toubousha -FUGITIVE- (Toushin, Kawai, Tsukada, Totsuka, Goseki)
(Tsukachan fell over when he finished his backflips, but he saved himself from falling off the stage!)

-Hesitate (Akanishi)
-SIX GROOVE (Kamenashi, Akanishi, Taguchi, Tanaka, Ueda, Nakamaru)
-No Matter Matter (Kamenashi, Akanishi, Taguchi, Tanaka, Ueda, Nakamaru)

-Non STOP, Don't STOP (Johnny's Jr.)

(Note: I no longer have this episode.)

Shoon and Inoo investigated a ramen shop that has really pretty food. The store looked like a regular, kind of run-down ramen shop. But when Shoon and Inoo sat down, they were served a full course French dinner.

Massu and Yuuto went somewhere where you can DEFINITELY meet a certain female celebrity. So they went to..a batting center?! They entered one of the batting areas, started to bat, and...saw her. Hello Kitty!! The batting center set up a light-based screen thingy of Kitty-chan pitching. It's meant to appeal to kids and women. So they did a world famous stars battle: Kitty versus Pikachu! And who, you may be asking, was Pikachu? MASUDA!

Taiyou messed up reading his title, poor baby~ And I didn't really understand what they thought they were looking for. But what they found was a plaque memorializing ... something.

Yabu said that in the Sunshine 60 building, there are 60 zip codes. Each floor has its own code, and it makes sorting the mail easier.

Hikaru and Kouhei looked for an "underground organization" I guess thinking that it was a secret organization of..anarchists, or something. But it was just tunnels. Hikaru walked around under the city for a while.

Live Stage
♪ 2 of U

The introduction went on and on about how popular dodge ball is in America, but except for schoolyards I've never seen it played So anyway, they're playing "American dodge ball" (I think the exact rules are based on the movie Dodgeball? haha)

Team Yabu: Yabu, Taiyou, Massu, Yuuto, Arioka
Team Hikaru: Hikaru, Shoon, Tegoshi, Inoo, Asaka

I guess teams are supposed to have six players? But they only have five, so they had an 'assistant system' where they can call in a specialized player to come help them.

Ohbayashi Motoko: former volleyball player. I've seen her on TV in relation to NEWS but I can't remember if she's the nice or scary one. Her specialty is catching.
Yakushiji Yasuei: former boxing champ. He played Champ in the Dream Boy musical starring Tackey. His specialty is dodging.
Yusa Masami: life saver? I couldn't really read most of her description.. Her specialty is catching, and specifically getting the ball at the beginning of the game when both teams have to rush to get them.
Miyazaki Daisuke: handball player. His specialty is throwing.

They had Miyazaki test his throwing power on Taiyou, and the ball went 115km/hour! (I don't think it actually hit him though)

The last two helpers were Oliver Kahn and Choushuu Koriki, both comedians. Massu threw the ball at Koriki to test his dodgeball skills, and he caught the ball..and proceeded to do wrestling moves on it.

Team Yabu got Motoko, Yakushiji, and Oliver while Team Hikaru got Masami, Miyazaki, and Koriki.

Rules
There are six balls. If a ball is caught by the other team, the person who threw it is out and the team who caught it gets one of their out players back in the game. (For some reason Yuuto and Arioka are dressed like their characters in the drama Engine..)
They can only have one assistant out at a time, and after they use them, they can't use them again.

I don't know WHY but Team Yabu are called Dochimo Dochies, and Team Hikaru are TamaTama Ballers. They're making this game into an actual sporting event, instead of a usual unplanned game on Ya3^^;
Both teams started out with their female assistants at the start of the game. I suck at talking about sports like an nnouncer, but basically the Ballers kicked the Dochies' butts in the first set.
In the second set, both teams used their athletic male assistants. The Dochies started losing, but they turned it around and won!
With only the comedians left, both teams were in trouble... Rather than trying to get the balls, Koriki wrestled Oliver.. Both of the comedians got out really quickly. Yet again, the Dochies were left with only one person, Yabu! Rather than trying to get them out (and risk them catching the ball, getting HIM out) he put down his ball and tried to catch balls they threw at him so he could revive some of his teammates..but got out.
Winner: TamaTama Ballers!

The Dochies had to drink a gross sports drink as punishment for losing. Yakushiji said it tasted like socks.

This is going to be hard to translate, but I'll try my best!

Theme: Common Sense of J
The guys have to answer questions relating to proper language when talking to superiors. This is much easier in Japanese than in English because they have entirely different words used with superiors. The words mean exactly the same thing, but have different connotations of "I humbly [do such-and-such]" or "You honorably [do such-and-such]" attached to them. It's difficult to translate these things into natural-sounding English, because our different politeness levels aren't quite as clear-cut as they are in Japanese.

Question #1: When you request something from a superior

Situation: Hanako just started high school, and is the first person in the classroom. She looked at the chalkboard and saw a notice: "Math class has changed to Home Ec today, so don't forget your apron!" Of course, she forgot her apron. The Home Ec teacher is the scariest teacher in school! She happens to see an upperclassman (woman? haha) from her club activities walk by in the hall, and goes to ask her if she can borrow her apron.

Which of the two requests is the proper one?
(A) Could I borrow your apron? (apron okari dekimasu ka?)
( Could you loan me your apron? (apron okashi itadakemasu ka?)

Yabu said B, because you want them to loan it to you. And he was right! The teacher guy explained that "to borrow" is your OWN action, so rather than asking if YOU can do something, it's more polite to ask if they'll do something FOR you. It's leaving it more up to them. (Also, grammatically, I think the first one might actually mean "Could you borrow my apron")

Question #2: When replying to a superior

Situation: Tanaka has just started working at a company. He's been working a LOT, so as to not 'lose' to his superiors. One day, he's called over by his boss and asked to make copies of something.

Which of the two responses is the proper one?
(A) I understand. (ryoukai itashimashita)
( I will comply. (shouchi shimashita)

Hikaru said A, because the 'comply' part of B sounded 'old.' But he was wrong! The teacher explained that the 'ryoukai' in the first one has a sense of looking down on the person, so actually superiors should use it with inferiors. (But in the military and such, soldiers use it with their superior officers..? I AM SO CONFUSED)

Question #3: What is the proper timing for greeting your superior?

Situation: When walking with your superior, you're supposed to walk slightly behind them. But if you go down stairs, you walk in front. This is so you're at a lower eye level than them. So, here is the question: if you're walking down the stairs and see your teacher heading up the stairs, when is the best time to greet him?

(1) When you see him (ie- before you've passed him)
(2) When you're passing by him
(3) After you've passed him

Everyone answered this question. Hikaru and Shoon said 1, Kouhei and Taiyou said 2, and Yabu, Yuuto, Kusano, and Shige said 3. Hikaru thought 3 was wrong because you make the teacher turn around to respond to your greeting, but with 1 the teacher doesn't really have to do anything. Kouhei said that with 1 your eye level is higher, but 3 forces them to turn, so 2 is best. The correct answer was 2! (Kusano must have changed his answer, because he started out holding up 2). The reason 1 was wrong was what Kouhei said, and 3 was wrong because it was too late.

Question #4: Where do you sit in a taxi?

Situation: New employee Tanaka is riding in a taxi with some superiors from work (section chief, chief clerk, and senior employee). What seat should Tanaka sit in?

(1) On the far right, directly behind the driver. (remember, in Japanese cars the driver's seat is on the right)
(2) In the middle of the back seat.
(3) On the left, behind the passenger seat.
(4) In the front, next to the driver.

Everyone said 4 except for Kusano who said 3. He said that it was so he could open the door and wait for everyone else. Hikaru chose 4 because Tanaka could direct the driver on where to go. Yuuto said that if a superior sat in 4, it would be like they were 'cut off' from everyone else. Kusano further explained that for him, 4 is a good seat, not a bad one -- it's Yamapi's seat. Kusano usually sits in 2, squished between two people. And Shige sits in 1. The answer was, of course, 4. The reasons included: Tanaka could direct the driver, and collect the change from the fare. The seat number ranking, from superior to inferior, was 1-3-2-4.

Next, they translated regular sentences into super polite language (keigo).

The last time they did this, they translated yankee fightin' words (haha sorry, I just like that phrase).
Original: 上等だよ！タイマンはってやんぞ！おぉ！？ (sorry, I can't translate yankee talk worth a crap.. just understand that it's really rough and rude?)
Polite: かしこまりました。それでは１対１の対決であなたに暴力をふってしまう事になってしまいますが、それでよろしいですか？ (Certainly. Then, let us have a 1-on-1 showdown. You may have violence inflicted upon you..is that okay?)

This time they did BABY TALK. How does that even make sense?! They just translated the last sentence.
(1) 「ウェ～ン」「ウェ～ン」 (crying)
(2) 「あ～ら…泣いちゃって…どうしたの？」 (Oh my..you're crying?.. what's wrong?)
(3) 「マンマ…おっぱい～」 (Mommy~ milk~) [literally the kid says 'boob' but I don't think English-speaking kids talk like that.. haha]

The guys were reacting like "how can we do that~!?" and then Shoon said that Taiyou commented to him: "That mother..aren't her boobs big?"

Hikaru Version
「ママ…バスト…」 (Mommy.. [your] bust..)

Yuuto Version
「ママ　ミルクください」 (Mommy, please give me milk)

Shige Version
「母上　母乳を…！」 (Mother-! Milk--!!) [it sounds funny in translation but it was really polite and unnatural sounding]

Correct Version
(1) 「すいません…恐れ入りますが…恐縮ですが…」 (I'm sorry... I would be grateful... I'm sorry to trouble you...)
(2) 「お泣きになられて　どうされたのですか？」 (You have begun crying. What has happened to you?)
(3) 「お母様…大変恐縮ですが…母乳を頂いてもよろしいでしょうか？」 (Mother... I'm very sorry to trouble you, but... Would it be possible for me to have some milk?)

They all cracked up over it, especially how the crying could mean such a specific thing.

Live Stage
♪ mayonaka no Answer (Yabu)
♪ Holy Heaven (Question?)
♪ kuroi asa shiroi yoru (Yaotome)

Theme: Brain Power

Players: Yabu, Hikaru, Taiyou, Koyama, Masuda, Tegoshi, Shoon
Guest: Kakuda Nobuaki (K-1 fighter)

1st Stage: BP Secret Code
They have to figure out the word by looking at a series of syllables.

(1) It describes a certain food.
Q: ma mi mo mu me (まみもむ&#12417
Hint: Where is the "mo"?
A: Monaka ('wafer cake filled with bean jam' -- but they have ones filled with vanilla ice cream and other things, too)
Explanation: The "mo" is in the center ("naka"), thus -- monaka.
Winner: Kakuda

(2) It describes a certain person.
Q: ao ao ao (青青&#38738
A: Bruce Lee
Explanation: The three characters mean "blue." If you pronounce "blue three" with Japanese pronunciation it sounds a lot like "Bruce Lee."
Winner: Kakuda

(3) It describes something.
Q: ha hi he ho (はひへ&#12411
Hint: Where is the "fu"?
A: Knife
Explanation: To say "there is no fu" it would be "fu ga nai." Remove the grammatical particle "ga" and switch the other words, you get "naifu" -- knife.
Winner: No one, but Kakuda got it right after time ran out. (Koyama tried guessing but couldn't figure it out)

(4) It describes something.
Q: anata anata anata anata
(あなた　あなた
あなた　あな&#12383
Hint: What is "anata" in English? (it's "you")
A: UFO
Explanation: There are four "you" -- "you four" or, pronounced more Japanese-like "yoo-foh." This is basically the same as the Japanese pronunciation of the word "UFO."
Winner: Kakuda

(5) It describes something.
Q: ka ki ku ke ko (かきくけこ) (the 'ko' is really small)
A: koshou (pepper)
Explanation: The "ko" is small. The Japanese word for "small" is "chiisai" (小さ&#12356 but if you take just the kanji and pronounce it a different way, it's "shou." Hence, "koshou."
Winner: Taiyou

2nd Stage: BP Question
These are hard because they depend on the wording of the question..

(1) What is the smallest thing in the universe?
Kakuda got it immediately! His brain is amazing! Koyama went up and said, "My own will-power." Um.. that's not good..Hikaru guessed "umeboshi" (pickled plum).
Hint 1: It's also the smallest thing on earth.
Hikaru screamed cause he thought he figured it out, but Taiyou rang in first. He, Tegoshi, Yabu, and Hikaru all got it right. Only Massu, Shoon, and Koyama were left at this point. Kakuda gave the hint that it's also the smallest thing in Kyuushuu.
Hint 2: It's also the smallest thing in NEWS.
Masuda rang in and guessed "Koyama's eyes." Koyama looked at him like, "why did you say that?!" The announcer asked Yabu to give a hint and he pondered for a second.. "Hmm.. 'yu'..." At hearing this, Shoon jumped up and got it right. So did Masuda. Koyama still didn't get it! Kakuda gave the hint that the kanji has nothing to do with it. Koyama figured it out and ran up to the camera to answer, but time ran out! They asked him what he was going to answer, but he said he didn't know!! Why did you go up there, then?!
Answer: "yu." When written in hiragana, all the words mentioned (uchuu, chikyuu, kyuushuu, nyuusu) have a small "yu" in them. The announcer pointed out that Yabu even SAID the answer, but apparently Koyama didn't hear him.

(2) Where is the place that animals always do hand-stands?
Again, Kakuda got it right away!
Hint 1: The answer is a specific country.
Koyama answered "Zoorasia." Like he was making "zoo" into the name of a country.. Uh.... and you're the one in college?? He was thinking of Eurasia! Kakuda said (in English), "Everybody! You have to think about this question in English!" The announcer said it was a good hint, but Kakuda said that if they don't understand English it won't work, haha. Thanks to his hint, Yabu, Tegoshi, Hikaru, Shoon, and Massu all got it right, leaving Taiyou and Koyama.
Hint 2: What is "doubutsu" in English? (animal)
Koyama went up to answer, but time ran out!
Answer: Rumania. "Animal" pronounced in Japanese is "animaru." If you reverse it, you get "rumania."

3rd Stage: BP Labyrinth
They have a little board that looks kind of like Scrabble or a crossword puzzle, and they have to fill it in with words, but of course they have to work in the diagram. If someone can't think of a word, they can go back, but of course that takes more time, and they only have three minutes. This particular one had to start with "u," and the last word had to end in "n."

Hikaru: ukanmuri (a kanji radical) ←I must point out that Taiyou gave him the hint!
Taiyou: mushitori (bug net)
Kakuda: tori (bird)
Koyama: tonbo (dragonfly)
Massu: matsubokkuri (pine cone) ←Kakuda gave THIS hint!
Tegoshi: amerika (America)
Shoon: aisu (ice cream)
Yabu chose to return, so he erased Shoon's: anko (bean paste)
Hikaru also returned: anago (eel)
Taiyou ALSO returned: akari (light)
Kakuda returned TOO: anki (memorization)
Koyama: kurikinton (some chestnut + sweet potato thing)
Only five seconds left when they finished!!

Rather than a live stage, they showed clips from NEWS' spring tour, including their various solos. They also showed a short clip of them talking, including when Massu cried.