Theme: How big are things before they're cut?
Team: Tensai to Kamihitoe
Guest: Hanawa

Hanawa is the "musician" (really he's a comedian) who's probably best known for his song "Saga-ken," about a tiny little prefecture on the island of Kyuushuu. He's also done other songs about various areas (one of my favorites is Chiba), but Saga is the best. He also has a really long, but funny song about Guts Ishimatsu, and my personal favorite: "kono natsu wa banana." It's all about how great bananas are. It uses word assocation to connect bananas with ... bananas. For example:
banana→yellow→giraffe→neck→necktie→old man→bald head→slippery→BANANA! Bananas are fun so it's great! ..But he's also lame, like most comedians, and one time on Music Station Tamori-san told him that he was one of the worst singers he'd ever heard.

(Yeah, I just wanted to promote Hanawa and his banana song.)

Anyway, on the show, when he came out he sang a quick little song about D no Arashi. The lyrics consisted of "D no Arashi." Then they asked him to make up one about Ohno, and he spelled out his name, but it became "Ono" LOL

The explanation of the theme is thus: many things that you buy have been cut down from their original size, for example: sliced salami. The question is: what do they look like BEFORE they're cut?

For some (no) reason, Aiba and Sho were dressed in old European-style clothes royalty might wear.

#1 Sliced salami. It was maybe 2.5 feet long, which personally isn't amazing.. They told Hanawa to eat it, so he tried, but it was hard to bite and he hurt his neck. Then Aiba tried and they babbled at each other for a second with their mouths full.
Then they showed a VTR of how salami is made. Before it's cut, it's about 60cm (2 feet). (Yay, my estimate wasn't too far off XD

#2 Cheese tara. I'm not entirely sure what it is, but it looked kind of like string cheese, except it's got fish paste in it too. The after-cut size was a little shorter than string cheese, but cut into smaller widths.
The pre-cut thing they brought out was a big roll of dried fish paste. It looked kind of like paper. It was 60m long, and 22kg. They unrolled it for a while, and Jun asked, "What's the point of unrolling it?" Again, Hanawa tried to eat it, but he complained about his neck hurting again.
They also had big sheets of the pre-cut cheese, which Jun ate and said was good. It was 1.5m long.
They showed another VTR of the production. They basically sandwiched the cheese sheet between two sheets of the fish, and cut it into strips.

#3 Pumice stone. You know, those really light stones? Aiba's thought was that they'd be able to lift the pre-cut stone up above their heads, but he couldn't lift it at all. The stone they had weight 60kg! It's still lighter than a regular stone would be, but that doesn't mean it's light.
Yes, another making-of VTR. Part of the reason an unfinished stone is so heavy compared to the finished product is that it's still filled with water, so they dry them in an oven to remove the water.

#4 Baumkuchen. Apparently it's a German cake thing. It's not very wide, but the uncut product was really long! Hanawa took a bit of the side. The cake was about 8kg, and 90cm long.
The making of VTR was kind of interesting. I can't explain it well, but basically they had horizontal "poles" that rotated, and a flat area underneath that they poured the batter onto. The poles would rotate and cook and as they touched the batter at the bottom, would slowly pick it up and get bigger. Think of it as similar to a snowball rolling down a hill: a bunch of little layers.

#5 Fugashi. They look like some sort of dried/smoked fish cake stick, so I'll pretend that's what they are. They predicted that at the longest, one uncut stick would only be four cut ones. Aiba brought out the cart, and as he lifted the cloth covering the sticks one started falling off, so Hanawa picked it up and started using it as a sword, and then did an impression of (baseball player) Matsui. Nino was swinging one around, and it broke really easily! In the background, Ohno was sticking the end of one into his mouth, but it didn't show his reaction (aww). The stick was 90cm long, and made 6 cut sticks.
While making the fugashi, I only saw them put in flour and water, so maybe that's what they are..? They got stretched out really small, then put on a big grill and cooked. Then after being sprayed with some water, they puffed up really big! A brown sugar sauce coated them, and then they were done. (So I guess it's just a bread thing..)

#6 Miyako Konbu. It's some seaweed thing that looks leathery and covered in white powder. Apparently it's really strong in smell. The uncut form was 7 meters, and makes 100 boxes of the stuff. Hanawa tried to eat it again, so he bundled up a bunch and stuck it in his mouth. And of course, his neck hurt again. I think it's really sour!
In the VTR, they said that normally they cut the seaweed before making it, but they left it whole specially for the show.

#7 Saran wrap. A cut package of saran wrap is about 20m long. They unrolled it all for no reason. Aiba brought out the uncut version, and it was huge! Aiba was hugging it excitedly. They decided to unroll it, but when Aiba tried to pull it from the roll, it was too heavy to rotate properly so it just ripped. Luckily, staff unrolled it previously. It took 3 hours, and was about 4000 meters long.

#8 Kneaded eraser. I don't know the normal English name for it, but it's an eraser, but it's gummy and you can..you know..knead it. Also, you can stretch it out, which is what they want to do with the uncut version.
Aiba unveiled the uncut form, and it was a big flat sheet 6m long, rolled up into a cylinder. It weighed 13kg. They broke it up and tried kneading it, but Hanawa got bored.

At the end, Hanawa gave them minus two Ninomiya, and then sang the ending theme. They all kinda looked like "..eh.." and Nino was covering his face in embarrassment.